• Amanda

Our Own Worst Enemy

There is this taboo topic between women that a lot of us don’t want to recognize. We hide behind this excuse and continue to let it keep us down. No I am not talking about the glass ceilings, double standards, or men that keep us down. I am talking about us, WOMEN. More often than not we are our own worst enemies. We slut shame each other, we judge each other, and we don’t help each other. We are in a constant battle of competition with each other and not for the right reasons.

The work place is a prime example of this. How often do women judge other women who get promotions or some sort of favoritism at work, based on everything but their skills? I see it myself when a lady gets recognition, another one will comment about her looks or how young she is. The worst is always “well she must have slept with someone to get there.” WHY LADIES, WHY??? Why do we have to assume a lady slept with someone to get where they are. The tone needs to be changed. We need to start acknowledging each other’s knowledge and skills. Just maybe could it be possible a woman got her position because she earned it? If she looks good while getting there, well girl more power to you. I admire those women who actually come to work 100% put together. Let’s be real a lot of times I do my daily 10 minute makeup work routine. That is just me, I know other girls who come to work full on ready for anything. Power to you ladies I aspire to be you one day. There is no need to judge though no matter which type of person they are. There shouldn’t be a comment of “oh she got the job because she is always wearing those tight pants or shirts”, or “she must be sleeping with someone to get that position because she doesn’t even look that good”. Just stop. Change the way we compete and master your skills, further educate yourself to get ahead. How about we ask each other for help? If you notice she is getting ahead and that’s where you want to be, just ask “hey girl, what is it you’re doing because I am trying to move up too”. Stop being stingy as well, offer advice and share you’re knowledge. The more women we have empowering each other, the less glass ceilings we will have to break.

How about we also stop SLUT SHAMING? We are worse than men when it comes to judging a woman’s sexual history. This goes back all the way to our childhood, society as well as some of our own cultures placed this idea that our own natural sexual needs are negative if you’re a female. We are taught that we can’t dress certain ways otherwise we are slutty. We can’t have multiple partners or relationships that would make us tainted. We are taught to be the submissive and not the aggressor. If a girl shows any type of taking the lead, she could be seen as being easy. Not too long ago girls were expected to stay a virgin till marriage, they had to “save themselves for their future husband”. BUT WAIT, boys never get taught that. They are encouraged to date around to find the right partner. I sense a DOUBLE STANDARD society, can we just let it go.  We already get enough judgement from society, so let’s stop judging each other. Next time you want to blame some girl dressed to “slutty” for something your partner did, how about you check your partner on why they did what they did.

If we can switch the tone and start empowering each other, changes for women will be inevitable. I am not saying go out and be BFF with every other girl in the world, but at least stop automatically judging and degrading each other.  Also ladies do you and be happy for yourself, not for anyone else in this world. You want to dress up one day because do it, you want to hook up with a person do it (stay safe though), and if you don’t want to and you just want to stay in and binge watch your favorite show then do it. Just make sure that whatever you choose in life you are choosing it for yourself and not to impress others.


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